I Will Prove Women Are Insane

If you walk into any newsagents, supermarket, corner-shop and look at the magazines on offer, you wouldn't be surprised to find yourself staring at several, if not a wall, of pink/yellow coloured glossy mags emblazoned with various phrases such as....

"10 ways to get him to communicate with you"
"5 sure fire ways to get his attention"
"Top Tips that are sure to save your relationship"

...you're looking at the self-perpetuating industry that is female repression which is (ironically) designed, written and consumed by women yet men continually get the blame for every 16 year old anorexic who keels over and dies. Women all over the world are convinced that men can only pop a woodstaff when a chick is so thin her liver stops functioning.....

"Dude she's turning yellow"
"Yeah......god that's so hot"

....I'm going to climb on board the generalisation jet ski and go for a burn here. Men are not sexually complicated. That's why wanking works so well. All we need is visual stimulus (and not much at that) and a repetitive movement. If you're still wondering how to "turn your man on" I got two words for you sweetheart, blow and job. If that doesn't do it, call a cab and a mortician.

If they're not banging on about how their boyfriends don't "communicate" with them, or bitching over you hitting them with a closed fist this time because last time your dinner wasn't on the fucking table when you walked in it was the last warning and this time was the last straw, especially after all the fucking hard work you do all fucking day just to get home to this shit.....
....if it's not that it's how rubbish men are at getting women off. If women are so obsessed with popping the big O then answer me this.

If any woman went up to any guy and offered to suck him off, every one would say yes. Who would turn down a blowjob!? Exactly.
If any guy went up to any girl and offered to go down on them, there's gunna be police involved 9/10 times. And face aids the rest. Fear the FAIDS.

Howcome? Because women are insane. Look at this....

Name: Ted Bundy
Occupation: Serial Killer (Killed 28 women)
Getting Laid?: Yes, granted conjugal visits on death row. Conceived child with wife Carole Boone within first year of sentence

Name: Scott Peterson
Occupation: Convict (Killed his wife and unborn child)
Getting Laid?: Yes, granted conjugal visits. Received marriage proposal within first hour of sentence.

Name: Adolf Hitler
Occupation: Fascist Dictator with a soft spot for Jews (just kidding he murdered over 6 million of them, idiot)
Getting Laid: Okay, well yeah, dead, sure, but he had a girlfriend. So you know he was getting some.

Name: Mike Sinkovich
Occupation: Programmer/Engineer
Getting Laid?: No. I would also like to point out that I have no problem pleasing a lady. I don't want to sound like Lord Lover, but I am, so I do.

Q.E.D bitch.